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The Best Gig I Didn’t Go To

The gig I didn’t go to will almost definitely become the gig I should have gone to. I’m always worrying that we are defined by the things we don’t have or the things we have lost, so this gig may be the most important gig of my life and I wasn’t even there.

I was a bit under the British weather and didn’t fancy a rain soaked Brighton so I went for a bath and an early night instead. Living the dream. At least the dog was chuffed.

They went without me to a gig I had selected and bought the tickets for. It was an Argos recommendation, Eddie that is, not the catalogue. Who can go wrong with an Argos recommendation? Although there had already been talk of The Nightingales not being my thing and maybe a bit too Fall-esque, repetition, repetition, repetition.

So when they sent me a video of the support act Asbo Derek shouting about lattes I was gutted. Finally someone shared my passion about saying “Can I GET?” when ordering something, “No you can’t you don’t work here!” Oh bugger, I was right, I should have gone. And right there in my imagination Asbo Derek became a god on the small stage who would have almost certainly altered my entire life.

The gig was at The Green Door Store, a cute little venue that is perfect for getting full exposure of the band you are seeing. They found themselves next to various band members at the bar, not realising until they saw them minutes later on the stage. 

So, Asbo Derek would definitely have been my thing, he sang a song about Theresa May that she probably shouldn’t listen to when she’s not feeling on top of her game.

But The Nightingales and their accountant looking front man probably less so. A “post punk rock out,” “what felt like a 45 minute long song,” “no chat or intros,” “tight,” and “didn’t miss a beat,” sounds a bit like my worst nightmare.

Although the female drummer (Fliss Kitson) the daughter of Riot Grrrl and Animal from The Muppets, is someone I’d love to have seen, she was also probably the youngest person in the room.

Don’t get me wrong they loved it, but there was speculation that had I been there I may have been one of a few females and I’d have had to try really hard to not drown myself in beer to get through the set.

So if I had been to this gig I’d be writing, “Asbo Derek is my new favourite live act,” and “The Nightingales rocked out in style, not my style, but style nonetheless,”  but I didn’t, so I’m not.

Next month is She Drew The Gun. I wouldn’t miss it for the world….or a hot bath.

Words Maxine White

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